Healthy Goal-Getting that Honors Autonomy and Authenticity

business goal-setting Jul 17, 2020

written by Colleen Truax, LMT

"I'm uncomfortable with setting specific goals in my business."

A successful podcaster said this.

Specifically, she didn't like saying:

"I will make six figures this year in my business."

She elaborated that if she didn't make six figures after having committed to doing it, she'd feel like she failed.

I get it.

I cringe at that statement too for that reason, as well as another:

Wanting six figures isn't a goal. It's a desire.

I would rephrase it like this:

"I DESIRE to make six figures so I'm going to make GOALS that align with that desire."

There's a difference between desires and goals. And understanding the difference will help you with what many people say was the most important factor in their success: FOCUS.

Desires are aspirations you may sincerely want to happen but they involve circumstances that are not within your control.

Goals are beliefs, attitudes, and action steps that are within your control.

Discerning Desires and Goals

On the chart below, what do you notice about the difference between desires and goals?

Are the desires bad or wrong? How do the desires listed differ from the goals?

Desires are often legitimate and healthy aspirations. The dilemma is they also require the cooperation of others, sometimes many others and perhaps even more stubborn, the cooperation of reality.

And when other people or reality don't cooperate, what happens?

FRUSTRATION which means lost time, energy, emotion, attention, money and FOCUS.

When you focus on what you can control, and formulate what you can control into goals, you only have to rely on yourself to carry out those goals.

And let's be real . . . YOU is really all you can handle: your own beliefs, attitudes and actions.

So no more attempting to control others.

Making this distinction means

you focus on what you can control.
you take responsibility for inaction so no energy-draining, time-wasting blame-shifting.
you can pivot swiftly if something is not working or you need to focus on something different.

Aligning Your Goals with Your Desires

The reality is that meeting your goals doesn't guarantee you will ultimately realize your desire, particularly if you DREAM BIG as we are often encouraged to do.

The good news is that if the goals are well aligned with your desires, then working hard to meet them will make you as prepared as possible for when and if an opportunity arises.

And depending on the desire, you might find that focusing, and meeting certain goals along the way is just as satisfying as actually realizing your desire.

This is where the "you are enough" mantras have a place. They're true. You don't need to be a successful podcaster or a six-figure earner to be relevant or content in life.

That's not where real satisfaction lies.

I imagine the podcaster didn't want to feel like she failed because she knew it wasn't failure simply for not having earned six figures.

She's more than her income or job or success.

And so are you.

This is why you need to choose your desires carefully and ensure that the goals you're working on daily are aligned with your desires.

When aligned, it can often feel like you're accomplishing the desire along the way as you achieve each goal.

Honoring the Difference between Desires and Goals

When you honor the difference between desires and goals . . .

you get clarity in goal setting.
it makes your step-by-step plans easier to follow because you're focused on what you can do that minute, that hour, that day, that month.
you can be more flexible. When you don't meet your goals, it's within your control to adjust so you can meet them.
you don’t waste time or emotions trying to convince or control people who are unwilling to see your vision.
ultimately, you help more people in more efficient ways.

Basically, you FOCUS.

Centering Beliefs in a Business You Love

In order to build a profitable business that you love, it's important to . . .

find something you love to offer and
get that offer in front of people who will love to pay you for it.

It sounds simple, but it's not necessarily easy.

Slowing down and taking time to really think through what you love, what you don’t love, what your past has taught you and what you want your future to look like is the first step to making goals that will get you to where you really want to go.

If you haven't already read the Touchpoint Blog Believing Beliefs You Actually Believe, I highly recommend it and encourage you to go through the workbook associated.

Dedicate some of your Collab Labs in Mentor Connect to seriously consider what your beliefs about massage are and if they align with the desires and goals you have in your business. You can read the article and download that workbook here.

Once you have completed the Belief workbook, start setting some goals with this workbook.

Touchpoints

Desires are aspirations you may sincerely want to happen but they involve circumstances that aren't within your control.
Goals are beliefs, attitudes and action steps that are within your control.
Having clarity about what you can control and what you can’t control will help you focus on goals without the frustration of trying to control others.
Doing something you love will ensure that it's easier to meet the goals you set.
If your goals are well aligned with your desires, and you consistently work on your goals, you will be more favorably positioned to achieve your desires.
The workbook is a great project to work on in Collab Lab.